It was year to the day that I had made one of the most difficult decisions I’ve ever made in moving back home to IL. When I realized it had been exactly a year I sat and reflected on that journey, and it has been on my heart to share. For once I didn’t have a plan and quite frankly I was frustrated and I couldn’t understand what God wanted from me or why I was in the position I was in.
I had thought I had found where I was supposed to be in Oklahoma, and yet I had another failed relationship and unfulfilling job and seemingly once again I had no where to turn except home. I was frustrated, I was discouraged, I cried… a lot. It wasn’t that I didn’t love my home and family. I was just in my late 20’s and as many do I felt like I should have had my life much more figured out by then. Pieces slowly fell together and were working out just as home always seemed to do, but I couldn’t help but feel frustrated with why it felt like my life hit the reset button once again.
In the time I was home I began to notice my father’s health had been declining. So, I began the process of convincing him that he needed to go to the doctor, which was not an easy task. In the whirlwind that happened next I managed to forget about my frustrations and just focused on my dad. And it wasn’t until I sat in the hospital with my dad in December and heard the doctor say, “your daughter just saved your life” that I understood why God brought me back home. I NEEDED to be THERE, not in Oklahoma, not trying to fix a broken relationship, not any of the things I thought I wanted or needed. I needed to be with my dad. And God brought home his stubborn child the only way he knew I would go because that is where I NEEDED to be.
I spent the next couple months helping my dad and wondering what I was supposed to do next. Then in Feb. I found myself on an unplanned visit to Marshall, MO where once again Coach Mason asked me if I was finally ready to come back and get my masters and help coach. I spent a couple weeks to pray on it and this time I said yes. I moved to Missouri in August and in September I reconnected with a college friend that 3 years later is now my husband! That year was anything but easy. But for the first time in my life I am truly at peace with where I am. Following God’s plan for my life and not stressing over having a plan and having it all figured out. Knowing I am finally where he wants me to be is the most peaceful feeling I have ever felt. We don’t always get to see God’s plan so laid out like this, but we can trust that it is there just the same. So if you’re struggling, feel like you’re starting all over, or at a dead end, open your heart and mind and give it to God. He’s got this, I promise <3!